B.A.T.S

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1258pm x Thursday x 90320

What is Wrong w/ Me? 

There is Nothing Wrong w/ Me. 

I just want to Win. Beat the Odds and not struggle forever. 

-So stop struggling, Now. 

It’s mental. 

I guess.

I trust You. It'll get better. 

I got nothing. 

736pm x Friday x 90420

It’s Heavy energy round here, right now. I get scared of the cold. I cant depend on Man. I ain't depend on Man. I still desired to Protect Him. I had to figure out the plan and get & stay aligned. What's the plan? – Finish school, Slay the field, bartend part-time, write, and brand full time. 

Boss up // Stay Close // Keep it Simple // Be Gentle // Look For The Magic // Be the Magic. 

Stay Close. 

A nigga hopped out the bed of an SUV today on Baker street and let off 100 shots w/an Uzi broad day. Another one got killed at the playground a couple days ago. One of 'his' neighbors got shot with the kid. Older-young dude, almost 40. Maybe never shot before but if so surviving, and now he may be paralyzed. My friend, grieving a fresh scar of her love being killed. I couldn't fathom her Payne. Not knowing how to cope with this for her, left me helpless. A lot of dark, sad, and angry energy. Not to mention the personal demons, that was War in itself. Shit was just different and dark. We all felt it.

The sky is fading above me and these birds going crazy before they go where birds go for the night. Flying in this big flurry scattered and swooping carrying this eerie ass chirp, they looked lost and panicked. Going towards this opening into something, some were making the entrance, some weren't. Some would keep flying and crying. Some would quit and disappear literally. But it seemed they were all subconsciously trying to get to the same place despite the madness and the darkness approaching. Together & Apart. Some would make it and Some wouldn't. 

The birds were actually bats. They were definitely Lost. Like Us.

Stay Close // We Can Do Hard Things. // We One.

--

To better days // To peace and happiness in our heart, soul & realities // To beating the odds.

Thank You, Reader, & Thank You, God, within x above.

- Miss Payne. ♥️

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