SUICIDE

256pm // Thursday // 91020

Lol, I felt so dumb and numb for really trying so long & losing. I thought with my fairytale, it would work like this: Fall in love, Stay Down, Stay Solid, Stay Sane, Grow, Together. Keep pussy and pride to Self, Have my Baby, Have A Party, Celebrate this Love built and Keep on Loving, til we die...This was my plan when I fell and chose to Stay. 

As much as I wrote about my Life, Journey and Growth, my Truths & Desires. It was just as much Him.....He seeped into every Subject, b/c He was my Person, my Love. 

I was NEVER easy. I was Always the Real Thing....

And you mean to tell me....you couldn’t fuckin feel that?

It was interesting and I am interesting b/c at least I knew, I was capable of this Tragedy. But after neglect, That shit hit different. No longer vibrant nor vulnerable. 

No Neon, just Green.......or Red.

I guess I understood the madness? I lied. But, I made it. So now, I just Live in observation of Suicide to what I once, prayed could not die.

We Live & We Learn too, eventually.

So Different but so the Same, I listened too Vivian Green sang her truth above Me. “Gotta Let it Go//  [Tired]”  In sequence too Summer Walker's “Let It Go”. 

The message/moral remains the same universally for All, When is over baby:

Let.It.Go.

Shit happens. 

IloveUs, still.