SPELL : 237

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October / ? / ? 
I go into these spells, sometimes lasting for days or weeks, where I run from myself, literally. 
Avoiding the mirror, Avoiding the paper, avoiding the pen, avoiding the truth. Im sure partly at this point b/c it was extremely repetitive up until very recently and also because often it just fucking hurt. Over and over and over again. Beyond that; I’m learning. 
There is so much to re-member and experience. On to Brighter Things.
All things Aligned for the Greater Good, eventually, I hoped. 
--
I get back to myself. & then I let it all out.. I feel the need to turn my insides out in the most trying manner; thru words. 
Picking, Pouring & Pruning...my reality to serve my Purpose, you know make it Make Sense. 
But Life b weird. 
& I have to get away. 
B/c I am alone. & I need to feel that. Completely. 
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With all the death and darkness, the grief, the pressure, the truth attempting to set me ‘free’. 
Trying to get some money to get some money, 
Connect with the One while maintaining 
my 2 selves
3 centers,
& 7 chakras….
I was lost...again.
- 
Taking moments to just breathe and literally connect back to Now has been help.
I am aware enough to slow down easier and to Relax in Here. 
It's just Me. & As I have Persevered my Whole Life. 
I will Continue b/c I Am already. 
I’m made, for Life. 
Knowing & Learning. 
Thank God. 
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In times of deep confusion and illusion, It's that the past chapters serve their highest purpose. 
I know b/c I write the Story & Tell the Truth. 
Maybe, I'm not crazy. 
What a beautiful thing to witness, re-member, & re-collect.
There is no lack or lost.
Just Love. 
We will get T-here. 
What I'm trying to say?
-   I Love You. It’s aite. Don’t think about it too much. 
Be. 

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